Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dear Myself

Dear myself (and some people who is in front of the monitor right now - YOU!),

Hmmn... I wonder why sometimes my dreams are so far out of reach. The days when I can easily not think about tomorrow is just no more, gone years ago. Those days were fun, no competitions, no troubles, no worries... What a day it seemed to be. Those were the days where life was just like eating lollipops, no exact ways of really eating it, you can bite it off or you can even lick it till it's no more, sometimes even wrap it back then pass it to unsuspecting friend as a gift, "friendship gift". (LOL)

I am always curious about what will ever happened if I continued my studies in TAR College to be an accountant, which I did not (I quit after 3 months but luckily I was on full scholarship) and decided to continue with Form 6. Good. I took Form 6 and completed it, but somehow I had a lil' tinge of regret because I did not get the four flats that I am always "hoping" to get. I have dreams, everyone has dreams. So gone are my childhood dream. So, I obtained another scholarship. Fair enough. This time an overseas one. But somehow, I never felt anything special.

Sometimes, I believe opportunity does not come knocking on your door twice. You have to grasp it before it's gone. At times, I felt lonely, making decisions that will shape my future. I am afraid of my future because I do not want to make stupid mistakes like some people do - regret what they are doing after graduating. Some friends of mine wanted to be farmer. Wasted time, wasted dreams. I am not saying that being a farmer is bad. He wanted to be a plain old fashion farmer. God bless him. Hopefully, I wouldn't be seeing him on newspaper. I have no knowledge about farming or cow-herding but my intuition tells me that people with few cows/goats will never start a business or even call himself as farmer. How lame is his mindset. Hurray to another stupid-PFS-produced student.

Today is my second month overseas, I'm getting use to it already. But still I do feel a little homesick (Hopefully it's normal - or is it not?) usually at the end of month. In Korea, I am now able to converse on the phone (YAY! - finally!) with some strangers calling the wrong number. It's very simple actually. When this stranger called me, he/she will say "yo bo se yo (hello)" then continued with "Kim blah blah ee soh yo? (is Kim blah blah around?)" my reply, "ah-ne-yo (no) sil reh ji man nu ku ee seh yo? (excuse me but who are you?)" He/she replied "oh dee eh yo (where is him?)" then my reply is "Kim blah blah ob soh yo (he is not around)" If He/she is so busybody asking me this and that, at this stage, usually I'll get kinda pissed off. He/she (Talk-not-enough people) will ask "Where yo (Why?)" I will just switched to talking in English/영 어 (pronounced as yhong orh)... then he/she will definately stop calling or talking to me.

These days, I really so uncertain about myself in Korea. Part of me is hoping to get IPTA courses in Malaysia while another part of me wanted to continue studying here. Here in my dormitory, I have to say it's more comfortable compare to in Malaysia. I am in a twin-sharing room, air-conditioned (unlike Malaysia's university dorm), cosy and the washing machine is free to use (unlike in Malaysian dorm where you have to pay to use it) And most importantly, my allowance is also kinda enough (JPA sponsored students look at us with envy - our allowance is actually much more than them, HAHA) and I really do not even require a single sen from my parents back home. Nice. The other part of me feels that continuing my studies locally will be much better because I miss so many things back home (Not going to talk on this... :D). And I really hope to be back...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

The Road Not Taken (by Robert Frost)

Hope to be back one day... Somehow, I don't think that if I continue my studies here, I will be able to go back this year (scholarship requirement-my ass) or even next year. Not very sure about anything now but what I am very sure is that I do take the route few people had taken. Which is sad actually. Being emo-ing today. Sorry. Have a nice day.

Best Regards,

카 일 (Kyle)

1 comment:

Damia said...

heyy.. your story quite inspire me enough.. well, im spm leaver whom eagerly to pursuing my studies in Korea. but, just. i dont know how. =,='

You might also like..

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning" ~Winston Churchill~