Going home...

1 more month.

After a year and 4 months abroad, I can finally be back home.

Staring at the calendar seems to be like an eternity. I know I have come closer to being home.

The strangest part about me going home is that I felt like wanting to remain in Korea for some reasons I know best to me. :)

"I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever..."

"Cry" by Mandy Moore

**

I am now studying Immunology (for my quiz tomorrow), a 3rd year university crash course but I took it as a freshman. No hope in getting good results but I am hoping to learn one or two. Honestly, to spend my free time doing something instead of waiting to go back and staying in my hellish dorm.

My new dorm sucks this time.

Do wait for me aight?

시험 성적 평가하는 것이 나쁜 것입니다

여러분 안녕하십니까? 다음 주에 우리는 기말고사를 칠 것입니다. 초등학교부터 지금까지 계속 공부해서 많이 알면 좋은 성적을 받을 수 있습니다. 저는 오늘 시험 성적 평가하는 것이 나쁜 것입니다.

옛날에 사람들은 시험이 없어도 새로운 것을 만들 수 있습니다. 차바퀴, 종이, 칼, 불을 피우는 방법 등 다 알 수있습니나. 왜 이렇게 있습니까? 항상 시험이 없으면 창조적으로 생각할수 있습니다. 또 학생들이 많이 공부해도 꼭 좋은 점수를 받을 수 없습니다. 왜냐하면 대부분 사람들은 100% 책을 암길 수없기 때문에 아무능력해도 좋은 성적을 받는지 모르겠습니다.

시험 칠때 많이 나쁜 일이 생겨서 집중할 수없습니다. 이 때문에 떨어질 것입니다. 하지만 다른 공부하지 않는 사람이 만약에 운이 좋으니까 중요한 것만 배워서 다답을 할 수 있습니다. 사실은 사람의 지식은 평가하면 시험만을 모자라고 안 좋은 것 같습니다.

하버드 지식자들의 말에 대해서 요즘 우리는 시험의 성적만 이렇게 필요하지만 다른 능력을 묵살합니다. 이 때문에 가족들은 돈이 많이 쓰고 스트레스가 많이 있습니다. 왜냐하면 어린이 학교 수업을 끝나서 학원에 다녀야 하기 때문에 교육비가 많이 있습니다. 시험이 가까웠을 때 학생들 공부만 하고 다른 일이 할 수 없습니다. 한국에서 보통 학생들은 나쁜 점수를 받으면 항상 자살하고 싶다고 생각합니다. 우리는 한번만 여기에서 살 수있어서 죽으면 끝입니다.

학생은 시험 성적 평가하는 것이 있으면 학생의 생활에 재미없고 복잡합니다. 학생 날마다 계속 공부하는 것이 비인간적입니다. 학생은 밖에 나와서 인간계에서 인정할 수 있습니다. 그래도 학생들 다 좋은 전수를 받고 싶습니다. 좋은 점수가 있지만 건강이 나쁘면 아깝습니다. 제 생각하는 시험 다 폐지하고 밖에 배우는 것을 알거나 실지견학을 하면 좋겠습니다.

My short essay was on the negative points of having examination as the appraisal for the future. I wouldn't mind translating it but the meaning would be lost if I translate it word by word. What I am really saying is that a holistic all round education is much more important than depending on exam grades.

It's over and my thoughts...

Exam's over. I think I can get an A for my Korean Reading but not for Korean Speaking. I am not good in Korean proverbs and I am limited by my Korean language proficiency. A majority of my classmates are all second, third and final year students, hence it would be difficult to obtain an A in that Korean classes (with exception for Korean Reading Exam because I think I did well :))

The subject that I think I "might" flunk is Chemistry. The exam is the last of all exams and I was like in a holiday-mode - no study.

Now I am having my holiday, albeit a short one because my summer class will continue tomorrow (Sigh...), for a month. Actually the course is NOT free and I have to DIG my own POCKET to pay for that expensive course. Well, a bit regretted now because most of my batch mates are not taking any summer courses, only 2 guys including me (the other guy is a Malaysian too) are taking it too.

Yesterday, I had moved out to another dormitory, this time on the 5th floor compare to 2nd floor on my previous dormitory. I miss my previous dormitory... hmmn... the facilities in my previous dorm is way better than now. And I haven't start talking on the bathroom.

I think Malaysia as a whole is not moving anywhere upwards the ladder because of too much politics. I believe in strong leadership, a leader that is voted by the people and not the winning party. I find that the leader chosen by the winning party must always submit to the whim and fancies of his political members. Look at Japan, look at Badawi. I don't fancy America too, because the basis of American politic is through lobbyists.

Lobbyists are paid to fulfill their obligations to his/her patrons. By accepting money or development promises, doesn't it equates to corruption? Malaysia is well known for that, sadly. Though through the eyes of others, it might turn out otherwise. Everytime when we look at the government audit, it always amaze me that buying small things like a screw driver can cost more than a hundred ringgit each, by buying say a set of screw drivers, one can feed a household in a develop country for a month. And nothing is been done.

I always have a good impression of some companies in Malaysia, I admire our national oil company, Petronas. Imagine a company that can contribute nearly half our our national income and sponsor a team in F1, how great it would be. I am always proud to say that I am a Malaysian not because of Petronas, but because I am born here. But sometimes when there are certain people calling some Malaysians (whose forefathers are not born in Malaysia) to go back to the country of our origin when we are not satisfied with the government, it upsets me.

And again, nobody can claim the land is his or her forefather's. We are all originated as one, if you don't believe, read Bible or Quran (originated from Adam and Eve) or if you are not religious, do read science book on evolution. We are from the apes! and we can be said to come from Africa and our ancient ancestors felt the kick (urge) to travel and they travelled far and wide until they reach here in Malaysia, China and India.

Honestly, we can go back if we want to. Opportunities are everywhere and hardwork will bring in success. Unless a person is working hard and not relying on subsidies or crutches, opportunities are limitless. Some might say policies that "help" certain people are important, but lets get it right will you, does it help the "needy people" after all these years? or does it widen the wealth gap that makes the poor gets poorer while the rich get richer.

Certain groups might not like it when we remove the crutches from the people. They might say that their rights are threatened. But it is a lost cause if we keep going on this way and not doing anything to rectify the brain drain that our country is facing every year. When people see that their talents are well regarded and appreciated, one will definately stay on. On the other hand, we see some groups are shooing away talented Malaysians.

To remove a policy that is deeply engrained in our society is not easy, but to let it continue and grow bigger, it will bring to no good. For our brothers, sisters and country, the best pill is always bitter to swallow. Nothing is sweet and free in life but do help the poor and let us not judge the people based on the colour and status. Don't judge a person by his race but by his ability. If it can be done, Malaysia will be a better place than what is it now.

I like politics but I hate politicians especially in Malaysia. Wanna migrate? lol. Just kidding.

9 June 2010

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is my final exam.

I gave up in Maths. Resigned to the fact that it is impossible to answer most questions. But. I hope to get good result in Biology and Chemistry though the papers are in Korean. Right now I am doing my maths homework (you see doing homeworks instead of revision!) but I felt bored so I am writing this. My Korean exam papers - hope to pass, no high expectation because I am doing the homeworks more than I should be studying.

Right now I am so stressed up. puff

I surrendered myself in the maths exam. I did better in STPM than now. Thanks to not studying or touching any maths book for over 2 years. lol.

Why results are so important to me lately? Maybe because I felt bad that being a government scholar but obtain bad results? Maybe because I am ambitious? Maybe because my Korean classmates think that I am at par with them so I need to prove my worth? or maybe because I do not want to keep falling to the extend of not knowing how to pick myself up again.

I hate failure. But studies are not everything to me. I just hope for the best and work hard to achieve what I want in life.

Ahhh. I miss home too. Wanna go back yet it is still far from close. 1 year 3 months plus abroad.

Kyle

Exam Week~

What a life...




Will be off for 2 weeks~

The funny thing about solving maths problems is that it is easy to get the right method but always too easy to get the wrong answer.

Horrible right?

Busy

3 minutes Presentation in Korean, Homeworks and Practicals.

*I am very busy*

Today, it is raining non-stop from yesterday night until now. I like rain, I like the smell of freshly mowned grass after rain. It always reminds me of the good old times back in Penang. Still a long way to go before I can be back to Penang. Still, I try not to be overly excited because it is too distracting. Hmmn...

Of thomas, kyle, korea

I am sure there are many things that we want to do in life. In the course of life, there will be times when we want to achieve what we had dreamed for but had to give up in the end due to financial contraints, scholarly attainments, etc. I had a dream too.

But, I shall not dwell into this. :) I believe that life is not about remembering the past but about the present and future. Though past are said to be the guide to never repeat the mistakes, I find it a stumbling block because by dwelling over the past, progress will be hindered by that thoughts.

So I progressed, I didn't look back, I try to forget everything about the past. Along the way, there were memories but I suppressed them. I prefer to start everything afresh. This is what I did when I came to Korea.

Life is not always rosy in Korea. Some might say it's great to be able to study overseas and stuffs like that. However, I had to admit that the days when learning Korean language was one of the best days of my life. During the course of stay there, I matured I change. Change is a must and without change one will not be what we want to be.

Throught the course of my stay in Korea, I had many nice memories and of course some bad ones, lots of first and plenty of suprises. Life is so unexpected sometimes, really... ;)

Life in university is somehow stressful sometimes, I am practically alone in my practical class especially chemistry because my partner was also a foreigner, a Chinese (why the professor did not give me a Korean partner??? wth!) and he is practically clueless in every classes so I did everything by myself.

Classes were okay, the books I am using are all in English but the lectures are in Korean. Contrary to popular belief that staying overseas long will make you well versed in the country's language, it is actually not that true. My Korean might be good when I write and sometimes talk, but honestly, it is still mediocre. I learned Korean for a year and it is definately not enough at all.

In Korea, I have develop a intense liking towards photography. I am more into film photography but the film costs make me think otherwise. This year, I will be buying a new good dslr camera, my current camera is not sufficient enough to fuel my appetite for quality photos. Right now, I am restained by the limited photographic capabilities of my camera. Likewise, I am also planning a trip to Egypt. I will try to travel to one country or two every single year in Korea. I did that this year when I went to China but it was not enough.

Well, that was the uhmmn part...

Anyhow, I did keep myself updated with the Malaysian Thomas Cup badminton match, but not Uber Cup, I am not interested because the women are not yet competent and matured to win, they need more practice and coaching. Yet, it was heartening to see many Malaysians supporting our players but sad to say the Malaysian players do not play against the opponents, they think too much, they play to win the cup.

They lost so much attention in the match maybe because the Chinese were so on offensive or because the Malaysian players can feel the stress of playing against the "feared" Chinese players and the stress of the people to see the Malaysian team win. I had that feeling too when I started off with my first competitive match. The nerdiest and "mind blowing" game - chess. When I was selected to represent my school for it, I was more than happy to accept the challenge, those were the days when I want to prove my worth. Nowadays I don't have that much feeling to prove that I can do this and that. To ladies readers - Guys are competitive in nature. Ladies too ler...

During the Under-15 state level individual chess match, I was very very focused and confident. I won 5 and half point out of 8 points, making me the third best player in my school and so I was selected for the team event. Then, there were the times when the expectations to win comes into my mind. Here, I started to be burdened by my responsibility to win for the team and from then on, it went downhill. So I don't blame the Malaysian badminton team :) Better luck and focus next time.

**

These days, I am experiencing writer's block. I couldn't write well and think on what to write in english these days because I speak, text message and do assignments so much in Korean that I feel more comfortable in using Korean than English. My English proficiency had really deteriorated. Ugghh. I need to write more!